Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Ever decreasing circles

I started this blog in a temper yesterday. My plan was to list several historical comments made about me on Twitter and on a  forum to show what I've been dealing with for the last year.

I explained it all to Phil when he got in from work and he listened to me, handed me a tissue, whilst I cried and blew my nose because of this stupid cold and he waited for me to finish raging about the unfairness of all the lies. Then when I explained to him exactly what I proposed to do he just said,
"What's the point?"

So i explained again and raged again and cried again and ended with "And they're lying, I've haven't done the things they're accusing me of"

"Yes" he said "That's what bullies do, but if you keep it reacting to it, that's what they'll keep doing and then it never ends"

The fact is that he's right. I can't stop what they're doing. I can just stop reacting to it.

Engaging with people who don't like me on Twitter, is just engaging with people who don't like me on Twitter.

Nothing that they're saying about me, is true. Its just their perception of events and if I put down my perception of events, in  screenshots of the comments they've made over the last year, I'm just continuing it.

The whole thing will spiral on until I call time.

So I am.

Twitter is such a powder keg at times and I'm so sorry that yesterday I struck a match, when I saw something infuriating.  After 5 years I'm still absolutely crap at doing "fakeface" Twitter. I tend to do  "exactly what I'm thinking which isn't always helpful-face" Twitter.

I started the fire yesterday when I should have just ignored it, smiled at it, known the truth and kept it to myself. I will in future because furthering this nonsense does no one, any good at all.

I'm sorry about yesterday. I won't be engaging with those people anymore. They have a point of view on me which comforts them and suits them well, so I won't attempt to rob them of that, anymore.

As they already know exactly what they've done, it's pointless telling them. I just hope they return to discussing comedians, not carers. It's stressful enough without that.

If they see this as a victory then fine. If they see this as me climbing down and accepting defeat then also fine. It's true, that's exactly what I'm doing but I hope they don't shout too loudly in delight, because bullying people into silence is quite a sad victory really.

It's not worth a minute more of my time. Ultimately the best description for a Twitter row, on crucial subjects like bullying is that it's just a matter of interpretation.

I'm fighting an orchestra of noise and need to stop. I was playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order.


14 comments:

  1. https://storify.com/cookdandbombd/bizarre-encounter-with-nicky-clark

    http://storify.com/cookdandbombd/how-nicky-clark-mrsnickyclark-reacts-to-disagreeme

    https://storify.com/cookdandbombd/a-debate-with-emmak67-about-mrsnickyclark

    The truth will out.

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  2. It really is best left alone now anonymous. I'm saying the same on Twitter. Best Nicky

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    Replies
    1. By 'best left alone' do you mean 'in case anyone in the press finds out I have also been unjustifiably attacking disability rights campaigners and people with disabilities because they wouldn't let me, Nicky Clark, join a specific hashtag society because I, Nicky Clark, do not have a disability'?

      Or, do you mean 'because I, Nicky Clark, don't actually have anything to back up these libelous allegations'?

      Delete
  3. Hello again anonymous.That's not what happened. That's just another myth.

    Sadly sometimes people don't always agree. I could spend all day defending myself against lies and gossip but it's pointless.Bullying is a many headed beast.

    If you attempt reason against it it just changes direction. The truth is there is one person being attacked by many. However it is spun and altered and exaggerated the facts are undeniable. One person attacked by a group is being bullied. It needs to stop.

    That's why it's better just left.

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    Replies
    1. I know how terrible and frustrated you must be feeling. I've been bullied and used as a scapegoat, as have my family - husband, son and most upsettingly my youngest son with autism. I've only recently understood what has been going on (with help from counselling), the fact that it has been happening to us for so long and to me all my life and the awful thing is it has been from my own family - my parents and also my younger sister. No matter how hard I have tried I just can't stop it happening and so I have now stopped speaking to them but it is still very painful.

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    2. "One person attacked by a group is being bullied"

      What? That's not bullying. By that rationale Jimmy Saville's been getting bullied a lot lately, hasnt he.

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    3. Hi "Ian"

      Jimmy Saville is dead and the worst paedophile in UK history.

      Why on earth would you claim he has been bullied, that's highly offensive to all those people who have had to live with the effects of his actions some of whom have committed suicide.

      Don't post on here again and do please reconsider ever posting such a thoughtless and cruel comment again.

      Nicky Clark

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    4. Nicky my dear, you are a master at wilfully missing the point.
      I'm obviously not claiming Jimmy has been bullied am I? I'm pointing out that your definition of bullying is lacking by showing that it could be extended to the extreme example of Jimmy Saville.
      My comment is not offensive, it does not claim that Jimmy Saville has been bullied. I know you know this, because I know you are literate and capable of salient thought, and since it's a very short comment indeed I don't see how you could have missed the crucial "That's not bullying. By that rationale..." that precedes the decontextualised bit about Jimmy Saville you chose to leap upon so you could shout me down as thoughtless and cruel.
      You seem to have a knack for missing the point and making overblown, hyper-emotional claims and accusations that do very little to further whatever real and legitimate complaints you may have.
      No doubt you will ignore all the above and respond with something along the lines of "You'd be hyper-emotional too if your life had been made a LIVING HELL by an INCESSANT and UNENDING campaing of SUSTAINED BULLYING". Or perhaps you will just delete this comment. Regardless, I would like you to think on what I've said, and read this rather interesting blog post that I think might just apply to you.

      http://www.grumpyhatlady.com/2013/the-bully-who-cried-wolf/

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    5. Hi again "Ian".

      I'm afraid I'm not going to read the blog you've offered, as I had to block the author of it a few months ago.

      As I say, it really is just best left.

      Nicky Clark

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    6. Oh, YES, that's right. That's when you had a tantrum strop aimed at disabled people and disability campaigners who politely said you couldn't possibly be part of #criplist because you aren't actually disabled. So you went on a passive-aggressive scream and block Twitter campaign of IT'S NOT FAIR FOR US NORMALS ESPECIALLY THE SAINTS LIKE ME WHO GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO LOOK AFTER YOU UNGRATEFUL ONES!

      You drew a lot of fire from LGBT groups with your unintelligent inclusivity comparison, as well as from disabled people and activists on all sides with your vile behaviour and comments that day. The most vile of which were deleted by you from your timeline in an effort to hide the evidence of your true personality. Luckily for the press, all of these offensive tweets have been preserved through the magic of technology. It can't be a "myth" if it actually happened and there were hundreds of witnesses.

      Randomly chosen quote, as tweeted by you that day:

      "Of course you're allowed to have a bit of fun just for yourselves we carers are just here when you need us.....*yawn*"

      There's a rapidly growing awareness of your hypocritical rry wolf behaviour amongst disability awareness groups, so you might be quite correct about one thing: there IS a campaign steadily building against you, but not in forums or on Twitter. It is comprised of people with disabilities and genuine disability activists, who are sick to death of YOUR celebrity chasing, attention seeking, professional victim and tactical bullying ways.

      Perhaps this is the real reason why you insist that all of this "really is just best left".

      Delete
    7. Hi anonymous.

      That was a conversation between me and Kaliya who along with Sue Marsh I get on with really well away from Twitter.

      So there is a little shorthand in conversations. Typically it got piled in on by twitch forkers. All angry and all determined to tell me their opinion.

      Oddly me expressing mine had drawn them to my twitter feed through retweets and calls to arms by an angry feminist activist stating encouraging people to tell me off and that she had their back. Odd.

      Yet my defending myself and trying to explain was not acceptable?

      I've never deleted any comments from that conversation. I left it there for precisely the reason that spirals into anger can have an innocuous cause.

      If I tweeted a damnd for Eugenics or something similar I could understand but having a conversation with Kaliya was and getting hounded for six hours was bizarre.

      I'm of the opinion that divison between carers and disabled is divisive I'm also of the opinion that if non-disabled people are excluded or made to feel unwelcome they will stay silent and not get involved when we need everyone to be involved in disability rights.

      Simon Pegg tweeted support of the paralympians and got a ton of abuse from the usual suspects. For being supportive. When I suggested that was wrong I was told "Fuck you Nicky Clark Fuck You" so I blocked that activist. That's the best thing to do.

      Yet that only made people angrier for some reason.

      You don't have to be black to hate racism or gay to hate homophobia.

      I'm entitled to have the opinion that lists are divisive, I meant people like Katharine Quarmby, Ian Birrell Amelia Gentleman Patrick Butler who have written tirelessly on the issue of disability rights would be excluded. That's all I meant.

      I never demanded to be on the list I simply highlighted the exclusion on the grounds of not being disabled. I was typically sarcastic and typically people took it literally.

      That was all. I only block people for abuse. That night I got hundreds of abusive tweets.

      People are joining together against me as you say in your post. People who I've blocked for verbal abuse.

      That's bullying so I'm not claiming victimhood I'm just speaking out about it. Yet now you say I'm "crying Wolf" whilst also agreeing that this is happening to me.

      Being disabled is no excuse for verbal abuse ever nor is it a reason for bullying. From my experience disabled people can't bear to be patronised so I never do. This is apparently the wrong thing to do.

      The net result is that after five years I've stopped campaigning, You can remain angry it won't change the facts.

      The response you've quoted above was after someone had tweeted are you saying that disabled people aren't allowed to have any fun just for ourselves?

      So I sarcastically replied in an equally extreme vein. It was ludicrous to accuse me of that.

      I suggest that the issue is really better left.

      Best wishes

      Nicky Clark

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    8. Spin it however you want, Nicky love, the jig is up.

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    9. It isn't spin brave anonymous poster.

      It's the truth, it's just not acceptable to you because it doesn't dovetail into your demonising myth.

      The interesting thing is that the blog didn't mention any disability activists at all, it was referring to a forum who have targeted me repeatedly for months because of a positive opinion of a comedy show.

      The new series of the show is launching next week and so as I was sent advanaced copies I wrote a positive review a week ago.

      That's when this nonsense all started up again. There has been a concerted effort with allies forming on the flimsiest of excuses.

      That is what has always happened. I'm not the enemy, I just voice my opinion.

      Women as has been shown by Mary Beard's treatment are not welcomed into some worlds with their "opinions".

      best wishes Nicky

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  4. It's possible that what they post isn't even their point of view, that implies that they have actually thought about that , or any other, subject. What is more likely is that their 'leader' chooses a victim and starts a hunt and the rest of the pack follow suit rather than get left behind to fend for themselves. The Alpha bully definitely has sociopathic issues but the rest I fear are just following lest they become the target. Don't reply or react, it just falls on deaf eyes. Report report report.

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