Tuesday, 6 May 2014

To be or not to be....

To be, or not to be, that is the question—

Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer

The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Tabloids,

Or to take Arms against a Sea of Wrinkles,

And by using Botox end them?
To die, to sleep—

No more; and by a sleep, to say we end

The back-ache, and the thousand
Natural shocks

That Flesh is heir to? '
Tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished.
To die, to sleep,

To sleep, perchance with night cream;
Aye, there's the rub,

For in that sleep of death, what snores may come,

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pre-nuptual clause.
There's the Respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:

For who would bear the UKIP and yawns of time,

The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's
Great British Bake Off,

The pangs of despised Gove,
the Law’s delay,

The excellence of The Office, and Cardinal Burns

That patient ferret of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his home brew make

With a bare Bodkin?
Who would these Farage fans bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovered suitcase carousel, from where Jason Bourne,

No Traveler, returns,
Puzzles the uncontested Bear Grylls,

And makes us rather bear,
Those ills we have,

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus Conscience does make Noel Cowards of us all,

And thus the Native hue of Resolution

Is googled o'er,
with the pale cast of Thought for the day,

And enterprises of comment is free pitch
and moment,

With this regard their Comments turn awry,

And shout the name of fracking.
Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia.
Nymph, in all thy lads mags,

Be thou all my sins remembered.[4]

Saturday, 3 May 2014


Feminism online is a pretty interesting thing. At its best it champions female oppression such as FGM, forced marriage and the subjugation, torture and murder of women with learning disabilities.

But unfortunately there also seems to be what I call feminisn’t on line.

Feminisn’t is the public ridiculing of women, groups of women, career choices of women or women who don’t meet the “standard”.

Blogs or actions or life choices or words of women, deemed to be not feminist, not feminist enough or  self-loathing women are RT’d, dissected and mocked.

This has happened to me 3 times online now and I’m not going to detail the women who have done it. Online rows are a waste of time.
The original point is always lost in the follower wars and nobody “wins”.

Crucially the unedifying spectacle is of no value to anyone except those who enjoy watching people tear lumps out of one another.

In the online rows I’ve had with women I’ve stuck to the point and then moved on. Not immediately sometimes, very stupidly, I’ve been sucked into the vortex of perma-pointlessness detailed above and branded in the same category as those who make rape threats.

It’s not the same but no matter, I strongly advise against this.

I’m definitely my own worst enemy because I challenge what I feel is wrong and I make jokes.

I’ve been rude about other women in jokes. I’m not pretending I haven’t, and I’m not defending it. Just stating it as a fact.

I need to make the enemy of my enemy, (who is apparently me) my friend.

Maybe one day but I’m 47 now so it looks unlikely.

I haven’t spent the last two decades in academia. If I had I might know and understand the big words about feminism. I haven’t so I don’t.

To me it means equality. I don’t see a great deal of that in feminisn’t.

Do please pick this apart and laugh loudly. As well as being a carer I’ve also been a hairdresser. My children had autism and were afraid of having their haircut. My mum had Alzheimers and once immobile became very distressed using a wheelchair.
So I trained. All the women I've worked with are hard working and funny. They don't earn enough and they take shit from some very rude clients who are mostly women. Other clients are lovely.

There seems to be a pattern emerging.

But again online I’ve noticed that’s usually a rich vein to be mined. 
Laugh all you want just make sure you tip.
We don’t ask you where 'you’re going on holiday' because we care.

I was an online campaigner and writer on disability rights until the rows I’ve spoken of, meant that it was too hard to be commissioned. So I stopped doing that. 

Suffrage for the 21st centuary seems to be less self-damaging to activists, via activism like hunger striking and more outward in the form of attacks on women by women.

The pen is mightier than the sword and the keyboard it seems is like napalm, because it travels and sticks and burns and scars and no one really recovers. It’s decimating of women’s reputations, "by stranger"; who think they can discern an entire character in 140 characters. 
But don't listen to me.

I'm just "that #criplist woman who hates disabled people" I was "jealous of Caroline Criado Perez" and I was described as "a cunt". All comments by women and self identified online feminists.

I didn't blog about #criplist because I'll never denigrate disabled people even by defending myself. There is too much of that. I let it go and this left the field wide open to theory.

Caroline Criado Perez and I may not agree on one very specific thing and I was furious with her, but she remains a stoic fighter and has my respect.

I was called a cunt because I disputed an attack on Laurie Penny for "not being feminist enough". This is nonsense. As I'm a housewife I was deemed to be a legitimate target by those who disagree.

This seems to be a theme.

I've seen famous women writers, journalists, musicians and broadcasters trashed by committee. 

In a single day online or a single evening a poorly crafted response or a ill thought through argument or a misunderstood joke is screen grabbed and storified and compiled as 'evidence'. 

Then the many against the few pass it around and the original intent is lost permanently as the transgression grows, with added nonsense, like a snowball rolling down a mountainside.

Yeah that’s equality.

I know nothing of the history or the academic theories of feminism.

Mainly I just believe in equality and I’m not seeing much of that online because it’s been replaced with mob rule.

The patriarchy must be laughing its arse off.

So maybe stop or not whatever, it’s up to you but perhaps consider how feminisn’t online would tackle history.because the sisterhood has never looked more twisted to me. 

I feel that if applied to history some of the tweets I see would look like this

“Emily Davison such an attention seeker, stepping in front of that horse was a typical aggressive media career step.” #mediawhore