Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Lizzy love.

Dear Lizzy,

I seriously can’t believe you’re 18. This is banana bonkers.

Of everything I’ve ever done in my life by accident, you and your sister are definitely the best.

Your Dad and I were the same embarrassing pair of idiots when we found out we were going to have you, as we are now. Less wrinkled obviously and in your Dads case thinner, but keen.

I still can’t believe they let us take you home from the hospital but they did. Aside from the fact that you screamed every night for weeks, it was great. I’d never seen anything that wasn’t a crocodile open it’s mouth so wide as you did and the scream that you unleashed was amazing, but that was the only downside and to be fair you did have colic. But my God Liz you were the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen in my life and totally worth everything.

Your Dad was an electrician then and would come home and pick you up before he did anything else. He’d rest you on his shoulder and then shout because you’d grab his chest hair poking out of his shirt. He is a quiet grumpy sod, at times but has a heart full of love for you and Emmy.

You were always so busy, eating, crawling, walking, chatting. Then reading, watching TV and more chatting. Nursery was a breeze because you didn’t cling and you wanted to know and learn everything you could. Plus you were always so easy to love.

The questions you asked like what do clouds taste like and which changing rooms do transvestites use when they go swimming ,always had a point and a beautiful reasoning to them, no spite no malice and no judgments. You haven’t changed.

You were named for my Mum and you are so like her in temperament. Like her you are gentle and concerned about other people and with a slow temper which when it flares although rare is articulate and determined to be heard.

We didn’t know for the longest time ten years in fact that you have Asperger’s Syndrome. We knew before you did and didn’t know how to tell you, not because of any reason other than we didn’t know how this would affect you. We sat together one day and looked at The National Autistic Society website and you read about the condition and you just said “That’s me mum, that’s me, I do all that”. When I said yes, you said “So it isn’t my fault that they bully me then”.

It’s never been your fault my love. Never.

We’re so proud of you Lizzy. So unbelievably glad that you’re ours, so happy that you have a strength to face every day, no matter how overwhelming it can be and still amazed that the bullies you faced everyday for 4 years haven’t changed you at all, or robbed you of your gentle heart and kindness.

Whatever you do, whatever choices you make they’ll be the right ones and we’ll be here pottering around, me being bossy, your Dad being grumpy,  Emmy singing songs from Thomas the Tank Engine.

With all our love as ever.

Mum, Dad and Emily xxx